Every family, child, and adoption is different. What matters most is finding what feels right for you and your family. Open adoption allows birth parents and adoptive families to remain in contact after placement in a way that’s guided by the child’s needs and the comfort levels of everyone involved. While post-placement contact can feel overwhelming at first, it often becomes a meaningful part of the child’s story when approached with mutual respect, clear boundaries, and the support of an adoption professional.
What is Post-Placement Contact?
Post-placement contact refers to any form of communication or interaction between birth parents and adoptive families after an adoption has been finalized. This can include letters, emails, phone calls, photos, or in-person visits, depending on what was agreed upon in the adoption plan. The level and type of contact vary among families and can change over time based on everyone’s wants and needs.
1. Set Clear Expectations Early
Birth parents and adoptive parents should take time to talk through their hopes and comfort levels around future contact. These conversations can be difficult, but they’re essential. Drafting a written post-adoption agreement can help ensure that all parties are on the same page. It creates clarity and reduces the chance of misunderstandings down the road. Above all, approach these discussions with empathy, respect, and a willingness to listen. Boundaries matter, and honoring them can help build a better future for everyone.
2. Understand That Relationships Evolve
Just like any relationship, that one between birth and adoptive families may change over time. Life circumstances change. Emotions evolve. Boundaries may need to be adjusted, and that’s completely normal. The most important thing is to maintain respectful and ongoing communication. When both families stay open and flexible, they create an environment that continues to support the child’s sense of security, identity, and well-being.
3. Prioritize the Child’s Needs
At the heart of post-placement contact is the child. For many children, knowing their story and maintaining connections with the people in it can strengthen their sense of identity and emotional security. When birth and adoptive parents work together to support that connection, it reinforces the message that the child is loved and supported by all sides.
4. Use Support Resources When Needed
Sometimes, navigating post-placement contact brings up unexpected emotions or challenges. It’s okay to ask for help. Many adoption professionals, including attorneys, agencies, and counselors, can offer guidance, support groups, or mediation to help both parties navigate the relationship. This is also a great time to lean on the support of friends and family.
5. Remember There’s No One “Right” Way
Each open adoption is as unique as the people involved. What works well for one family may not be the right fit for another. The most successful post-placement relationships are those built on a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and shared commitment to the child’s well-being.
Post-placement contact is an ongoing journey that requires understanding, patience, and flexibility. Whether you’re a birth parent wondering what to expect or an adoptive parent navigating a new relationship, know that you’re not alone. If you have questions about building or maintaining a healthy open adoption relationship, we’re here to help.