The holiday season is a time of warmth, celebration, and togetherness. But for adoptive families, this season can also bring unique challenges: Adopted children may experience mixed emotions, birth families may be part of the season’s story, and new family traditions can feel both exciting and overwhelming.
At Herrin & Leach, we understand that adoption is more than a legal process—it’s a lifelong journey. Here are some thoughtful ways to navigate the holidays as an adoptive family with care, sensitivity, and joy.
Understanding Mixed Emotions
While the holidays are joyful, they can also bring complicated feelings for adopted children. Memories of their birth family, reminders of change, or adjusting to new traditions may surface and create confusing, mixed feelings. As parents, it’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are natural.
Encourage open conversations and remind your child that it’s okay to experience more than one feeling at a time. By validating their emotions, you create a safe space for honesty and connection.
Keep Routines and Expectations
Children thrive on consistency, especially during times of excitement and change. Maintaining familiar routines—like bedtime, mealtimes, or small family rituals—helps provide comfort and stability.
If travel or large family gatherings are part of your holiday plans, prepare your child in advance. Talk through what to expect, who they will see, and how long events will last. A little preparation can go a long way in reducing stress.
Communicate with Loved Ones
Family and friends often want to show love, but they may not fully understand how best to support an adopted child. Before gatherings, consider sharing gentle guidance with relatives. This could include topics to avoid, language to use, or traditions you’re building as a new family.
Clear communication ensures everyone is on the same page and helps create a supportive environment for your child.
Acknowledge Birth Families
For some adoptive families, birth families play a role in the holiday season. Whether through quick updates, visits, or conversations, acknowledging this connection can be meaningful for your child.
If contact isn’t possible or appropriate, parents can still honor birth families through small gestures—lighting a candle, saying a kind word, recognizing past traditions, or simply holding space for gratitude. These acts reinforce the message that it’s okay for a child to love both families.
Create New Traditions Together
The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity to build new traditions unique to your family. From baking cookies to decorating the tree, even small rituals create a sense of belonging. Involving your child in choosing or creating these traditions helps them feel valued and included.
Over time, these traditions become part of your family story—symbols of love, stability, and connection.
Caring for Yourself as Parents
Parents, don’t forget that the holiday season can be overwhelming for you too. Balancing family schedules, emotions, and expectations takes energy. Make time for rest, set realistic boundaries, and lean on your support system when needed. By caring for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to support your child.
Moving Through the Season with Grace
Every adoptive family’s holiday experience is different, and that’s okay. What matters most is approaching the season with sensitivity, flexibility, and love. Adoption weaves together stories, emotions, and relationships that are as unique as each child. By acknowledging these layers and creating intentional traditions, adoptive families can make the holidays a time of true belonging. At Herrin & Leach, we are honored to walk alongside families throughout their adoption journey—during the holidays and every season beyond. If you’re considering starting your adoption journey, reach out and schedule your free, confidential consultation, and our adoption experts will answer your questions and see if adoption is right for you.