Adoption brings together many people, including the child, expectant parents, adoptive families, and the professionals who support them. With so many individuals involved, it’s natural for one question to come up early and often: what kind of contact will there be, and when?
The answer isn’t the same for every adoption. Contact can vary based on whether an adoption is open or closed, and it may also change over time as relationships develop and needs evolve. At each stage of the process, communication is shaped by comfort levels, agreed-upon boundaries, and, most importantly, the best interests of the child.
Understanding what contact may look like throughout the adoption journey can help both expectant parents and adoptive families feel more prepared, informed, and confident moving forward.
Here’s how contact can look at different stages of adoption.
Before Placement
Before a child is placed, contact often begins during the matching process. Once an expectant parent selects an adoptive family—or a family is chosen for placement—communication begins gradually. Early contact often includes phone calls, text messages, emails, or video calls. Some expectant parents prefer limited interaction, while others value regular communication as they get to know the adoptive family.
It’s important to remember that there is no requirement that contact looks a certain way. Expectant parents remain in control of how much, or how little, communication feels right, and preferences can change as the pregnancy progresses.
At Placement
The placement period is often emotionally complex for everyone involved, and contact during this time may feel especially sensitive. Some placements involve time together at the hospital or shortly after birth, while others do not. Communication may continue through messages or updates, or it may pause temporarily to allow space for emotional processing. Having clear expectations discussed ahead of time helps reduce uncertainty and ensure boundaries are respected during this transitional phase.
After Placement
After placement, contact depends largely on the type of adoption agreed upon. In open or semi-open adoptions, communication may continue through photos, letters, emails, or scheduled visits. Some families exchange updates a few times a year, while others maintain more regular contact. Over time, contact often becomes more predictable and comfortable. As children grow, these connections can help them understand their story, build a sense of identity, and feel supported by all the adults who care about them.
Adjusting with Intention
Contact in adoption is not static. As children mature, communication may shift to reflect their needs, questions, and emotional development. What felt right in infancy may naturally change during childhood or adolescence. Healthy adoptions allow for flexibility, honest communication, and mutual respect. Some families adjust contact frequency over time, while others maintain a consistent rhythm that works for everyone involved. When changes are needed, adoption professionals can help you and your family navigate those conversations thoughtfully.
The Role of Legal Guidance
While contact is often rooted in relationship and trust, legal guidance plays an important role in ensuring expectations are clearly outlined and that everyone’s rights are protected. An experienced adoption attorney can help explain how post-placement contact agreements work in Indiana and ensure that everyone understands what is legally enforceable and what is based on mutual agreement. Clear guidance early on helps prevent misunderstandings later and allows families to focus on building healthy, respectful relationships.
Building Strong Contact Practices
Contact in adoption is deeply personal, and there is no single approach that works for every family. What matters most is that decisions are made thoughtfully with the child’s best interests at heart. Whether you are an expectant parent considering your options or an adoptive family preparing for placement, understanding how contact can evolve at each stage can provide reassurance and clarity.
At Herrin and Leach, we are here to provide support and guide you with confidence through every stage of the adoption journey. Get started with a free, no strings attached consultation today.